Insomnia

Laying in bed completely awake. Oh how I hate insomnia. Windy been having a hard time sleeping too. Just one of those nights. So I thought might as well update my blog. Thinking about my life and how much it has changed. I went from feeling alone and thinking I was never going to find anyone to being happily married again and soon will be blessed with a son. After the divorce I felt a failure and then bad relationship after another. Then I met windy and my life feels complete again. I miss grace so much but I get to see her. She still knows me as daddy and it means so much to me. I have gotten to know myself again and realized my faults. I blamed myself for the divorce for such a long time. Windy has really helped me to heal, her and God. I am learning to trust in Him more than ever. I see now how He has always been there. Through the good times and bad. He has helped me overcome a lot of obstacles. I still struggle with MS but I know no matter what it brings He will be there to strengthen me and Windy is there to help too. I see now that Amanda and I wasn't going to make it but she gave me the greatest daughter. That I will always appreciate. She has moved on and I have too. Though I still have the fear of being left alone and hurt, but Windy is helping me to overcome that fear. For once I feel that God brought her into my life to show me love and understanding. She truly has changed my life. Before I met her I felt the old me trying to rise up again. I was trying to find comfort in a bottle. A bottle to ease pain yet it always made it worse. I am so blessed to have her. I feel worthy to be loved, something I hadn't felt in a long time. I can say I am happy. Even though I know we will face tough times but I know we will make it through them. Make it through them with love, understanding, and most important with God.


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