I am sitting here in a hospital room supporting a friend. My friend Connie is in the hospital due to an infection that has attached to her bones in her face from a sinus infection caused by a form of cancer she has t-cell non-hopkins lymphoma. I am sitting here while she sleeps and her mom also slumbers. Just me with my thoughts. Quite a bit has happened to me recently. I just came out of another relationship due to a situation I am not going to post. This situation has me realizing how gullible I am. I guess that I truly sometimes get so carried away with what I think is love that it ruins my better judgement. So I am back lonely. My divorce becomes finalized the 23rd of September. It brings such mixed emotions. I will be glad when its over but I still miss my former wife. I feel that I am never going to find anyone. I feel that my MS is going to make it hard but most of all I fear that even if I meet a woman that I am going to fail at another relationship. This October 11th would have been our 7 year anniversary. I feel like crying. I feel just that I am destined to be alone. I do have a wonderful daughter and a great little dog but a companion I feel I shall never have. I hate being alone.