I have made it through one event and was able to keep civil. Amanda and I are trying to be as civil as possible. My daughter just turned two, she is growing up. It is hard to think that my baby is now two years old. It is hard seeing Amanda and realizing that our marriage is over. I am doing better and trying to move on but it is still hard at times. I have shed many tears but I think its to be  expected. I need to cling to the cross more than ever right now to get through this. I don't want to be the man I was. "Oh Father I need you now!" The holidays are coming up and it is hard to think that the traditions we had started are not going to apply this year. I am afraid they are going to be the hardest to get through. I am trying to move on and at times I think I am doing good, then I start missing Amanda. Six years of marriage are all that we made it through and I do think of the good memories. I miss her so much at times, I miss her touch, holding her in my arms. I read one article on divorce that compared the emotions one feels is compared to grief of a loved one passing away. It honestly feels like that at times. It is hard to lay in bed and not feel them next to you. I can get through this. I pray that Grace doesn't get hurt. I pray also for Amanda because I know its hard on her.